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Browsing articles in "The Shit Has Hit The Fan"

Backdoor to Chyna…the Title’s Funny Enough by John M. Ellison IV

On Thursday May 26, 2011 there was mussitating about former wrestler Chyna going back into adult film after an article on entertainment website TMZ. Later on, in an official statement from “Chyna” (real name Joanie Laurer) these “allegations” were quickly denied. Then on June 1st 2011, Vivid video released a trailer featuring the former WWF (now WWE) wrestler tentatively titled “Backdoor into Chyna” in some to put it mildly…hardcore action. Judging from the trailer, the video includes Chyna partaking in sexual acts with adult starlets Diana Prince, Dylan Ryder and Dayna Vendetta in the midst of a collage of various sex acts with other adult stars.

Chyna doing an anal theme adult film isn’t that surprising to me. If anybody remembers (or whoever has seen it and haven’t blacked out that part of their memory) the video “1 Night in China” that she did with former boyfriend and wrestler X-Pac (real name Sean Waltman) and the second DVD w/ additional footage, there was a scene where she was partaking in anal sex with X-Pac amongst other acts throughout the video.
One of the biggest selling points of “Backdoor into Chyna” is that she’s working with Evan and Lee Stone. Aside from Evan Stone appearing in the adult Simpsons parody, I’m not necessarily familiar with either Lee or Evan Stone. The only thing I know about either of them is that they’re currently being promoted as some of the biggest guys in porn right now…I just realized that had a double meaning.

In closing, as an admitted fan of Chyna I have to say that I’m kind of confused about why she would lie about a video that apparently does exist and perplexed why she thought Vivid video wouldn’t release a video that she was contracted to do.

Link to Backdoor to Chyna…NSFW (Not Safe for Work)

Backdoor to Chyna

photo courtesy of

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Kharma’s WHAT?! by John M. Ellison IV

On the May 23, 2011 edition of Monday Night RAW, there was an eight Diva tag team match where Khama (real name Kia Stevens) made her way to the ring and is expected to come in and clean house as it were…then in a confusing move she starts breaking down in tears much to the confusion of fans. This was one of those rare moments (usually about five times a year) in WWE where I actually questioned for a few minutes if this was legit or a real breakdown. I’m thinking “oh crap, is she going *Chappelle on us?”

After the motley crew of fans colloquially known as the “IWC” (or Internet Wrestling Community) speculated on what’s going on backstage, the most popular rumor right now is that she’s expecting and going to be out for 9 months. *Fred Schneider voice* SHE’S WHAT?! Actually, I have no idea if she is or not, I just felt it was an opportunity to break out a “Love Shack” reference. Aside from pregnancy, other blogs are reporting that her back issues flared up. I understand that she’s had back issues and I even checked on her about this back in the days of Myspace and when she was wrestling under the name Awesome Kong in TNA. She was grateful for my concern. Unfortunately, due to Myspace kind of falling by the waste side we lost contact.

If it’s true about Stevens being with child, I’m going to be respectful and not pry into details about it…okay, that sounded a lot better thought than typed.

Like most of these stories, none of them have been confirmed by Stevens herself so until she speaks on the issue we can only speculate and wait.

Also, if it turns out that she’s pregnant…let it be on record that “the missus” called it.

*Chappelle is a term that I use that for any celebrity that cracks under pressure during a high stakes moment.

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DJ Kool Herc’s in trouble! That’s Terrible…Who’s DJ Kool Herc? By John M. Ellison IV

(AllHipHop News) Hip-Hop pioneer DJ Kool Herc has been released from a medical facility, but remains in need of financial aid to help with an unknown health condition.

“I just spoke to Kool Herc.he’s ok and in good spirits..but needs surgery..THIS TUESDAY at SUTRA..we’re gonna do a collection for him,” DJ Tony Touch tweeted earlier today.
According to Gangstarr’s DJ Premier, Kool Herc’s health is deteriorating and he is in need of monetary assistance, because he doesn’t have health insurance.”Kool Herc is very sick,” DJ Premier revealed on his XM Satellite radio show Live From Headqcourterz. “For those that know about Hip-Hop, who we call the father of Hip-Hop, Kool Herc, is not doing well. It’s funny how we have a father of a culture that still lives, where as in some cultures they are dead and gone even though they may still be worshiped or reflected on in some kind of way.” According to DJ Premier, he spoke to Herc, who revealed that he was in need of financial assistance because he didn’t have medical coverage.

UPDATE: New York’s Daily News reports Herc is suffering from kidney stones. The hip-hop pioneers’ sister Cindy Campbell told the paper, “He’s been in terrible pain for months. The doctors say they’ve got to come out, but we just don’t have the money.” She said Herc’s bills already total $10,000.

When I found out about Kool Herc’s ailment, I was disgusted at the idea of a pioneer; one of the DJs who laid the groundwork for rap today being forgotten disgusted me. Even though I’m more partial to rock music, any music writer/musician/composer that ignores the history of any genre is missing out on information that could benefit them and broaden their horizons. Back in 2000, when I first became more interested in the history of dub reggae, turntablism and old school hip-hop, I stumbled upon an article about a DJ by the name of Jamaican born Clive Campbell better known as DJ Kool Herc. Prior to reading this article, I was more familiar with DJs such as Grandmaster Flash and Jam Master Jay and their importance to DJ’ing.

While DJ’ing in the rec room of the parties that Herc and his sister gave in their childhood home of 1520 Sedgwick Avenue, Herc often played albums by funk legends such as James Brown, Jimmy Castor Bunch and Booker T & the MG’s. With funk, you would find a heavily percussive drum break that people dancing enjoyed. So noticing this, Herc bought two copies of the same record and whenever the break for that song started, he had the other record with the same break cued up. With this, an 8 second drum loop could go on and would repeat this process for as long as necessary.

Herc called this technique “The Merry-Go-Round”- a switching from breakbeat to breakbeat done at the zenith of the party. The earliest demonstration of “The Merry-Go-Round” involved James Brown’s Give It Up or Turnit A Loose, “Bongo Rock” by The Incredible Bongo Band and “The Mexican” by English rock band Babe Ruth. With this, he also included saying quick phrases over the mic. When things became more of a laborious process he called in collaborator Coke La Rock to chat on the mic. This actually developed into the first MC and DJ setup in hip-hop.

People that danced to Herc’s breaks were called b-boys and b-girls that were described as “breaking.” Herc also noted that “breaking” also had connontations of getting excited and acting energetically…or as they say now “crunk, hyphy, buck etc.” With all of this, Herc is an invaluable contributor to hip-hop culture and rap in general.

These “millionare” rappers owe a great deal should be morally indebted to Herc for paving the way for them to buy overpriced trinkets and indulge in avarice. So, if some of you “rappers” can afford to buy a $250,000 chain then you can afford to either contribute or pay off a $10,000 medical bill that you can somehow write off in taxes for someone who gave you guys a job in the first place. Shit, I’m an indie writer who gave $10, what’s your excuse?

For all donations to Kool Herc, send to: Kool Herc Productions PO Box 20472 Huntington Station, NY 11746
Or you can wire donations via Paypal to this address: (his sister)


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Didn’t Tiny Learn Anything from “No Hands?” by John M. Ellison IV

TMZ reports the rapper was sent to a special housing unit after getting caught with Tiny’s hand down his pants.

The prison rules allow for a kiss and a hug at the beginning of the encounter and then hands must remain in plain view for the rest of your visit. Tiny didn’t get the memo on this one apparently and says she hasn’t spoke to T.I. since the incident.

In this case, I don’t have any deep thoughts on this. I’m more or less biding time with stories of inane urban pop culture that amuse me until I do some album reviews. Besides, I just find the story amusing; I mean how can you overanalyze a hand job folks? So…now onto the corny double entendre and potentially over used puns!

Isn’t it odd that Tiny beats a drug rap avoiding jail time and then gets in trouble for beating off a rapper?

I can’t say T.I.’s a wack rapper…but I can say he’s a rapper that’s been whacked off.

I can understand if Tiny’s embarrassed…but we can all agree that T.I. was choked up about this.

I can imagine some of the readers are probably going “*scoffs* Are you done yet?” No, not really. But, I thought I’d get a few jokes out though. Besides, in September 2010 when T.I. and Tiny were facing criminal charges they were at the Uptown comedy club in Atlanta to catch comedian D.L. Hughely’s show. D.L. Hughley spotted them and joked about T.I.’s legal woes and the couple took it in stride. So, I assume Tiny and T.I. have a sense of humor about moments like this. Besides, we all have had embarrassing moments and the best thing to do is try to find the humor in them so the humiliation stings less.

Remember, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones…and if you’re throwing hand’s in use then it’s technically impossible to do both at the same time.


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Gucci Mane Committed to Mental Facility by John M. Ellison IV

From TMZ
“The 30-year-old rapper — real name Radric Davis — appeared in a Georgia courtroom yesterday after filing a “Special Plea of Mental Incompetency” … in which he explained he was in no state to “intelligently participate in the probation revocation hearing.”

Gucci is accused of violating his probation by allegedly getting in an altercation during a November traffic stop.

According to the document, the judge ordered Gucci into custody — and immediately committed the rapper into a mental health treatment facility pending an evaluation of his mental condition.

We’re told Gucci is currently at the treatment facility.”

I’m not exactly familiar with the work of Gucci Mane per se. Rap wise, he’s not really my forte, I’m more of a Tech N9ne, Esham, Aesop Rock etc. kind of guy. Well, aside from skimming through Murder Dog magazine and stumbling upon an article about him, I never really paid that much attention to him.

But, If he’s in the midst of a mental breakdown or had previous mental issues that have been unaddressed, this can be a big help for him. If he’s going through some issues and this isn’t some scam as some are trying to imply, then I wish him a speedy recovery.


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Hammer Just Nailed Himself by John M Ellison IV

Hammer Just Nailed Himself by John M Ellison IV

For those who may not know or really care it seems that MC Hammer (real name Stanley Kirk Burrell) was quite appalled at a song by Kanye West featuring Jay-Z, RZA,Pusha T, Swizz Beatz &Cyhi the Prynce titled “So Appalled.” In the song, Jay-Z made an uninspired lyrical jab to Hammer’s well known financial issues with the offending lyrics.

The hammer went and broke so you know I’m more focused
I lost 30 mill so spent another 30
Cause unlike hammer 30 million can’t hurt me

Yep, that’s what Hammer’s appalled at. A few bars–not even a verse but a few corny bars over his past and WELL PUBLICIZED financial problems. Seriously, Hammer getting mad because another rapper made a reference to him being broke is like Elton John getting mad at somebody for calling him gay. After hearing this offending line “Grandpa Hammer” goes on a heated diatribe on the social network Twitter calling Jay-Z the devil. Seriously, out of all of the rappers out there you could call the devil…Jay-Z? Uh, whatever man. Hammer said he was going to go in on Jay-Z on Halloween. Well, Hammer released a response video titled “Better Run Run.” …Actually this whole situation kind of reminds me of the Boondocks episode titled “The Story of Thugnificent.” You know the one where Granddad Freeman gets upset over Thugnificent making a diss track about him and in return he makes a retaliation rap video against Thugnificent…talk about life imitating art, huh? Well, onto the track.

“Better Run Run” is a hyphy flavored “slapper” of a diss track/video that features backup dancers who at a first glance look like female impersonators doing the “running man” through molasses, camera work that’s shakier than gelatin placed on a vibrating bed, really stiff and bad acting that makes wrestler/rapper John Cena look like Robert DeNiro, some dude that resembles Jay-Z being coerced by some guy in a rubber devil mask and all of this cut in with scenes of with them running through the woods. Basically the video looked like a “Blair Witch Project” spoof that was filmed on a shoestring budget and produced by the always in demand production team of nignorance and one too many sips of communion wine (don’t forget, Hammer’s a minister). This video was less of a diss than it was a poorly produced “nigga moment” that makes Hammer look a petty old coot. I mean, Hammer is 48 years old and Jay-Z as we all know is 40. Not that age matters, but I’d expect the older guy in this situation to be more mature than the dude who was going around talking about 40’s the new 20.

To be honest, I respect both artists’ achievements and I even noticed similarities between the two. I mean think about it, Hammer went diamond and now Jay-Z throws up the “diamond.” Let’s face it, when Hammer was out back in the 90s, people were rocking Hammer pants and looking like hip-hop genies.

In closing, I expected better from Hammer, I mean isn’t envy a sin?

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Bishop Eddie Long Gay Sex Scandal…Are You That Surprised?

by John M. Ellison IV

For those who don’t know, Bishop Eddie Long is a pastor of the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in the Atlanta,Ga suburb Lithonia. He’s also an author and has released a few gospel albums and was also featured on Ludacris’s album “Release Therapy.”

Now, it seems that a scandal is developing about two young men who alleged that Bishop Eddie Long showed them his “long fellow” when they were 17 and 18.

Okay, where do I start with this? Bishop Eddie Long has a sexual misconduct suit? You mean the muscle shirt wearing dude whose name sounds like a porn star? Okay, to be fair, we don’t know how true or accurate this story is. They’re calling this a “shakedown” but this looks and sounds more like a “shake weight situation.” But, if it is true…I wouldn’t be the surprised. I mean, for example this guy has shown anti-gay sentiments by marching against gay marriage and crusades against homosexual behavior.

“Well, he’s so anti-gay! How could he be gay?” You never heard of self-hate? For some reason, people feel the more adamant you are against something the less likely of a suspect of the cause you’re against. But, this is nothing new; I mean usually any politician that’s adamantly anti-gay usually ends up exposed for their questionable behavior? You would think people would learn…

Here’s an actual quote

“[Long] would use biblical stories to talk about how important it was to follow your leader and master and let them know that the acts they were engaging in did not mean they were homosexual,” Bernstein said.

Bernstein described the young men’s enrollment in the Longfellow Youth Academy where they ascended to the elite group of young men known as Bishop Long’s “Spiritual Sons”.

According to Robinson’s written complaint “…Long typically engages in a private spiritual ceremony described as a ‘covenant’ between himself and each young Spiritual Son…”

“[Long] would use biblical stories to talk about how important it was to follow your leader and master and let them know that the acts they were engaging in did not mean they were homosexual,” Bernstein said.
She added that Long told them he was simply “releasing his passion and his love.”

Okay, let’s break this down…you have a guy that has a school that sounds like a dick joke and wants to mentor a small group of young males with a ceremony that at the end has him releasing his “passion and his love” during this ceremony…can you say “pause?”

On a musical note…there’s only one song that fits the situation at hand.


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Tila Tequila Bottled at the Gathering of the Juggalos

by John M. Ellison IV

You ever hear something where you just knew that it wasn’t going to go well? I mean, you just knew the results were going to end badly? Kind of like Lil’ Wayne rocking or Brian Pumper trying to rap…well here’s another one, Myspace model Tila Tequila performing at the “Gathering of the Juggalos.”

For those who aren’t aware, a “Juggalo” is a fan of “the most hated band in the world,” Insane Clown Posse. “Wait, you mean the two guys in clown makeup with ‘wack’ lyrics?” “Yes, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope.” Now you’re probably asking “How would I know this?” Simple answer, because I was a fan of the group in my younger years and still to some extent a fan now. But, I’m not as much of a fan of their music (more of the older Mike E. Clark-era) and more a fan of their business model. *Shock* “How could you be a fan? You’re not some white trash wigger idiot!” Yeah, I hate to tell you guys but not all juggalos are a bunch of dimwitted, violent, white trash, cheap soda drinking jackasses with face paint who run around going “woop woop” all the time…well, not all of them at least; “Ass Dan” doesn’t represent all of us, just a contingent.

“Juggalos?” “Gathering of the Whats?” “Ass Huh?”…What are you talking about? For some reason, I imagined that last string of questions in a Don Knotts voice. But I digress…Now to explain what “The Gathering of the Juggalos” is.

The Gathering of the Juggalos (The Gathering or GOTJ) is an annual underground musical festival put on by record label Psychopathic Records. This event features performances by the entire label as well as numerous well-known musical groups and underground artists that the fan base expresses interest in. It was founded by Robert Bruce, Insane Clown Posse (Joseph Bruce and Joseph Utsler), and their label in 2000. The Gathering has featured bands of a variety of genres within hip hop and rock, though the majority of the acts perform horrorcore and hardcore hip hop, similar to that of Psychopathic Records artists.

The event has been described by Joseph Bruce as a “Juggalo Woodstock”, the Gathering of the Juggalos spans four days and includes concerts, wrestling, games, contests, autograph sessions, and seminars with artists. It is regarded highly by the Juggalo fan base, and is commonly referred to as a “family reunion” of sorts by the fans.

Now, I haven’t been to the gathering myself but speaking from someone who understands juggalo point of view, I have to ask…”Seriously, what the fuck was Tila Tequila doing at the Gathering in the first place?” Look, I know juggalos can have less than popular/underground etc. taste in music, especially rap wise. But seriously even her there rapping was a horrible idea…even by juggalo standards!” I knew her being booked to perform wasn’t going to end on a good note because of the potential of the unofficial term known as “The Bubba Sparxxx Award.”

Here’s a copy of Tequila’s twitter feed counting down to the incident

“Whoohoo! On my way to airport!!! Can’t wait to perform at the concert
tonight!!! Holla Juggalos and Juggalettes!!! Lol
3:08 PM Aug 13th via UberTwitter

Just landed in Chicago!! Almost Time for the Juggalos Gathering!!
Woohoo! Wut yall doin?
8:30 PM Aug 13th via UberTwitter

Touchdown!! I’m finally here! Tom Green was on my flight cuz he will
be doing a show at the Juggalos too! Then we got engaged! Haha! #4real
12:28 AM Aug 14th via UberTwitter

Headed to the Juggalos Gathering right now!! Woohoo!! Gonna be fucking
insane!!!! Holllaaa juggalos! Ya girl luvs ya!
2:43 AM Aug 14th via UberTwitter

Insane Klown Posse bitches and shout out to my boys, Kotton Mouth Kings!
3:08 AM Aug 14th via UberTwitter

Lil Kim also performing tonight!! Woohoo! This is gonna be so fun!! I
bought a TON of cool shit that imma spray at the crowd!!! Lol!
3:52 AM Aug 14th via UberTwitter
Thank you everyone for your support. The people at Juggalos behavior
was disgusting and I am filing a suit against Them now. Thanks 4 ur luv
5:15 PM Aug 14th via web

Pretty soon the owners who run the Juggalos will be bankrupt. My
attorney Alan is already on it. This is disgusting behavior from men.
5:31 PM Aug 14th via UberTwitter

Understand, I wasn’t there at “the Gathering” but understanding the subculture, I figured out what happened and caused the reaction…

The juggalo subculture has a disdain of pop music, MTV etc. and whatever doesn’t cater to the more underground taste. Taste in this case being nu-metal, rap-rock, gangsta rap, heavy metal, pro wrestling and pretty much whatever Spin, Village Voice, Rolling Stone etc. mocks or considers “anti-intellectual trash.” In this case, artists who insult the bands within the subculture and insult elements of the culture aren’t welcome.

Some Juggalos at times can be quite a rowdy bunch and due to the actions of some, juggalos have been labeled as a gang in some states. This actually causes a misrepresentation of others fans of the group who have nothing to do with criminal activities.

Ignorance of the subculture and being a “poser” can be dangerous. For example, misspelling the band’s name and still acting like you’re a fan has potential to be dangerous for anyone regarding this group or within the juggalo realm.

Now, as an exception to the “pop” culture or pop music, artists who are genuine fans of the group within the subculture or enjoy parts of the subculture are very welcomed with open arms and gain career long and lifelong fans.

“The Bubba Sparxxx Award” is a term given to any group that is unwanted and annoys the audience and will get things thrown at the stage and bottled while performing. For example, In 2002, rapper Bubba Sparxxx during a performance at The “Gathering of the Juggalos” was bottled and heckled and left the stage for obvious reasons during his set. Ever since then, the term has become a part of the lexicon.

To be fair, this occurrence of what we know as “bottling” isn’t exclusive to the juggalo subculture. In fact, in 2004 at the popular “Reading and Leeds Festival” in the UK, rapper 50 Cent was bottled during a performance for 20 minutes by fans who attended the festival. The Reading Festival which catered to indie, alternative but more “cerebral” taste didn’t want a rapper of his caliber there.

With this being known by fans, I’m guessing she didn’t know or wasn’t aware of the potential of her getting this infamous “award.”

To clarify, do I advocate what happened to Tila Tequila? Not all all. Did I expect something like that to go down? Yes. Should she have been there in the first place? No. What were Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope thinking? No idea.

Update: Violent J (real name Joe Bruce) warned her not to go on stage because of the rumor of a potential attack but she didn’t take his advice.

article here

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I Wish I Could Make This Shit Up: LeBron James’s “Dad” Suing his Son!

by John M. Ellison IV

So…Basketball player LeBron James is now playing for the Miami Heat. My thoughts on this are constipated or in other words, I don’t give a shit. Oddly enough though, I found this one story about this guy by the name of…well, you can read for yourself.

“LeBron James is being sued by a man who claims to be his biological father. Leicester Bryce Stovell, a Princeton grad and lawyer, is suing the basketball phenom and his mother for fraud, defamation, and misrepresentation, alleging they tampered with the results of a paternity test in 2007. He charges that Lebron’s mother, Gloria James, “fabricated” the story of the star’s life to make it “suggestive of Spike Lee’s popular 1998 sports drama film, He Got Game.”
It gets crazier. The LeBron lookalike says he met and had “consensual sex” with Gloria James when she was only 15 years old (he was 29). When she told him she was pregnant, he remembers saying “if he’s mine, make sure he plays basketball,” notes TMZ. Stovell says that when he approached Gloria in 2007 she threatened him and said, “LeBron’s money is for his children.” There is no word, yet, from James or his team.”

Read more:

After reading that story, do you have the “O_O” look on your face too? Let’s see how wrong this story is.
1. The story of “He Got Game” a movie that was made in 1998! Is based off of someone who started playing professionally in 2003. If anything this story sounds more like the “Waterboy”

2. THIS GUY “ALLEGEDLY” FUCKED A 15 YEAR OLD! After looking it up, 16 is the age of consent and Stovell being 29 at the time could’ve brought up some issues if reported.

3. Not to sound chauvinistic but, aren’t “alleged” gold diggers usually young women? When did they turn into Princeton educated lawyers in their mid-50’s?

After reading this story, what else can you say?

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Mel Gibson’s Racist Rant…I Couldn’t Make This Shit Up!

By GPR84  //  The Shit Has Hit The Fan  //  2 Comments

Oh fuck!

From the Huffington Post:

Mel Gibson has reportedly exploded in another racially charged tirade, this time throwing around the N-word at his ex, Oksana Grigorieva.

His abusive and disgusting rant was caught on audio tape and includes a wish that the mother of his infant daughter be “raped by a pack of [N-words],” reports.
Mel also calls Oksana a whore and a c**t while their baby screams in the background, according to Radar, which has listened to the tape. Mel’s rep has not denied the tape’s content.
Here are a few of his threats:

“You’re an embarrassment to me. You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.”

“How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f**king nice.”

“I am going to come and burn the f**king house down… but you will blow me first.”

Okay, let me put it this way…is anyone that surprised? I mean…really? Are our short term memories that blown out since the last time he went bat shit crazy during that DUI with him claiming he runs Malibu and blaming Jewish people for all the wrong in the world. Honestly, he was lucky that he was lucky that time because he was shit face drunk and he can blame it on the booze and go on an apology tour. But, like the saying goes, “a drunken mouth speaks a sober mind.” In this case, Mel was sober and pissed off. From the looks of it, this motherfucker’s mouth is a Lethal Weapon!

Another thing, did he say “a pack of niggers?” In his mind they’re packs of Sgt. Roger Murtaugh’s pointing at random white women going “there’s one!” The fuck?

Honestly, I’ve never been a fan of Mel Gibson, even before the anti-Semitic comments. I just didn’t see the big deal. Well, with this is just icing on the cake for reasons I don’t give a rat’s ass about him.

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