Somebody Stuck a What in Their Where to get Drunk? by John M. Ellison IV

According to KPHO in Phoenix, Arizona, some teenagers are soaking tampons with vodka and inserting it in themselves. When I say teenagers, I include boys as well…yeah their inserting a tampon into their rectum to get drunk. This sounds like the worst idea ever for an episode of “Dude What Would Happen?” Okay, we’ve all done stupid things when we were teens. But this is like backyard wrestling of drinking. Amateur alcoholics ignoring proper drinking techniques of their inebriated forefathers to pave a new road…for some it’s a “Hershey Highway.”

I’m not surprised by the fact people would soak a tampon with alcohol and shove it up their butt though. For example, on an episode of Manswers they explained you can absorb alcohol faster through your hemorrhoids. The trouble is that there is a strong possibility of alcohol poisoning because of the speed of the absorption and because toxins aren’t being filtered by the liver. So yeah, it’s possible somebody could die with a vodka soaked tampon up their ass.

Actually, when I first heard about this I thought of the South Park episode “Are You There God? It’s Me, Jesus” Cartman discovered blood coming from his anus leading him to believe he just started his period and taunts the other boys for not starting puberty. Since Cartman is pretty much an allegory for pretty much every idiot in the world his reasoning shouldn’t be a surprise. Apparently Kenny comes down with the same ailment. Either way, to stop the bleeding they both shove–well you figure it out.

In the controversial film Kids directed by Larry Clark, there’s a scene with two guys by the names “Casper” and “Teddy” scrounging around for money in Teddy’s mom’s room. Casper had a glass of Kool-Aid given to him earlier by Teddy. Casper noticed Teddy’s mom tampons and proceeded to grab one, dips it and sucks the Kool Aid out of the tampon. I’ll give you a minute to stop vomiting.

To clarify, I’m not saying the previous examples have any origin in this dumbass trend. I’m just saying I’m not surprised this concept existed. Actually the scarier thing is that somebody thought of this without being influenced by any of the said examples and thinks they thought of it themselves.

Source

http://www.kpho.com/story/15981315/teens-using-vodka-tampons-to-get-drunk