“Backdoor Santa” by Clarence Carter feature by John M. Ellison IV

“Backdoor Santa…” Honestly, when I first heard this song I thought “I wonder if Elton John has done a cover of this?” What? I mean, Elton John jammed with the Isley Bros. a few times and dude always had some soul to him and…never mind. Anyway, since I featured “Christmas in Hollis” by Run-DMC yesterday, I thought I would do a feature on the song where the sample came from.

So, here’s the original double entendre-laden “Backdoor Santa” by Clarence Carter.

“Backdoor Santa” is a playful ode to philandering and running out the back door that’s indtrumentally supplemented by some fuzzed out guitar licks, strong horn section and arranged in a “12-bar” blues song form. When listening to the song, I started to think “Hopefully, there wasn’t any ice where he was running out the back door.” I mean, It’s bad enough slipping on ice while trying to get away from some extramarital chicanery and even worse by getting caught and getting beat up by her man! I also realized that Clarence Carter is visually impaired too. I wonder, what if he walked into the wrong house? What if he gave the wrong amaout of change to bribe the kids with? What if he stuck it in the wrong–y’know, I’m thinking about this too much. Enjoy the song.

Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis” feature by John M. Ellison IV

Holy crap! You mean there’s another influential band from Queens whose uniformed look also contained leather jackets and just straight out rebel attitude? Yes, I referred to Run DMC as a band. Seriously, Run DMC could rock out with the best of them. Their album “Raising Hell” and the videos I posted for the Jam Master Jay tribute proved that.

Yes kids, before he was Reverend Run, Diggy and Jojo’s dad and had the reality show on MTV, Run-DMC was paving the way for rap to breakthrough to the mainstream and was the group that your parents and probably grandparents by now were bumping on ghetto blaster and rocking fresh Adidas in a B-boy stance. They were probably cooler than you when they were your age, pretty scary thought, huh? Seriously…look through their year book, you would be surprised. Actually, you’ve probably heard this song in a ton of commercials and on the radio during this time of year…well; it beats “White Christmas.” But c’mon, how can you go wrong with a track that samples the horn riff from the Christmas themed soul classic “Backdoor Santa” by Clarence Carter and laced over a big beat from probably a DMX drum machine.

I probably lost you at the “rocking fresh Adidas in a B-Boy stance” part, huh? Anyway, let’s get to the breakdown of the video.

You have Santa is rapidly tapping a Simon Says deciding whose naughty and whose nice until this elf comes in and puts everyone on the naughty list until he comes across Run, DMC and Jam Master Jay. The first verse is pretty much Run explaining how he found Santa’s wallet and gave it back to him and got some money back for it. In the second verse, DMC is pretty much describing Christmas at his place. The video wraps with Run and DMC rapping in unison with Jam Master Jay on the turntables and DMC wrapping it up with the final verse.
In conclusion, this is another classic that you should have on your playlist especially during this time of year.

The Ramones-Merry Christmas, I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight by John M. Ellison IV

The Ramones…where do I start with these guys? In a nutshell, they were four dudes from Forest Hills, Queens, New York who all had a musical admiration for bands like the Stooges, the Beatles and Mad Magazine that played instruments and started a band that played stripped down no frills anti-corporate rock that was akin to stuff like Chuck Berry and Elvis Presley. But also when put together they became as volatile as a bleach and ammonia cocktail in a badly ventilated room. Seriously, if they had “reality tv” back in the 80’s, they would’ve made a show worth watching. Like most other influential bands, the Ramones were ignored for most of their tenure and three of the core members have sadly passed on due to health or drug related issues. But, you can hear their influence or inspiration with most of the pop-punk bands of the 90’s and 2000s and now in a lot of commercials. I’d expatiate on this, but it’s a moot point that would just equate into rambling.
So, let’s focus on the holiday gem from 1989’s “Brain Drain” album, “Merry Christmas I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight.”

I remember seeing the video on one of those holiday themed video countdowns on MTV, I’m not sure if it was Adam Sandler hosting, but for some reason I keep thinking it was him. Seriously, post a comment if you remember this special! The video starts with a couple arguing with a stereotypical New York accent and consists of cuts of the band and the comical antics of a couple quarreling. Interesting enough, the video clocked in at 3:29, whereas the actual song is 2:05.

For seasoned fans of the band, you’ll notice that this is a little more medium paced than their usual songs. But, it still has all their hallmarks such as repetitive sing-a-long lyrics, low almost crooning with a thick Queens’s accent vocal from Joey and three chords with some Chuck Berry influenced slides from Johnny. Okay, kind of off topic but isn’t it sort of ironic that Joey Ramone who was Jewish was singing a Christmas song? Anyway, the difference between this and their usual sound is since this is a holiday song; you’ll notice it’s been sweetened with some synthesizer pad, bells.

In closing, if you’re a fan of the Ramones or goofy holiday songs and cheesy videos then you’ll enjoy this song.

Bonus:

The slower, shuffle solo by Joey Ramone

Happy Holidaze, folks! by John M. Ellison IV

Well folks, it’s the time of year again! It’s the time of rampant consumerism, coping with annoying relatives by drinking eggnog with special ingredients and a family viewing of Miracle on 69th street! …Okay, the last one is optional. Also if you’re a parent, you get to tell your kids the story of Santa Claus, a pudgy flamboyantly dressed voyeur with a white beard that uses labor from magical dwarves and reindeer and breaks into your house but leaves gift and eats snacks within 24 hours! I’m trying to figure out the legal recourse regarding this situation. Seriously, how many laws is Santa breaking?

Oh yeah, since this is a fable that you’re telling your kids this as if were fact, technically that makes you a liar, too.

But, it’s not all negative; it’s also the time for catchy holiday music and inane holiday themed sitcoms and Christmas specials. Since this is a site that caters to more alternative taste in this pop culture, I’m going to be featuring some classic Christmas songs from The Ramones to Run D.M.C. and some other holiday themed novelty tunes and videos sandwiched in this week.

Let’s start off with the first nugget of “ *gasp* where does he find this crap!” It’s the patently offensive and definitely NSFW, “A Charlie Brown Kwanzaa” from A Charlie Brown Kwanzaa”

Lil Wayne’s “I Am Not a Human Being” by John M. Ellison IV

Sorry folks, when I think of blacks in rock post-Jimi Hendrix…I think of 24-7 Spyz, Bad Brains, Living Colour and Funkadelic! Yes, just because it’s promoted that Lil Wayne likes Nirvana, it doesn’t make him diverse; it gives him better than I expected taste though. Honestly, if I could find out more about his personal musical interests, I’ll probably be more susceptible to his music in general. Its artists like him that where his back story is a lot more interesting than his musical efforts. To me at least…Anyway, enough digressing and let’s get to Lil Wayne’s “I Am Not a Human Being.”

To re-hash an older story, I find a video on Youtube that looks like it was shot with a black light giving the video an “episode of the X-Files directed by Hype Williams” vibe…which is kind of cool when you think about it. Theme wise, it’s a continuation of Lil Wayne’s Martian gimmick a la Ziggy Stardust, Kool Keith and reminiscent of Marilyn Manson’s video for “The Dope Show.”

The video consists of brief cutaway images of money and Martians that will have a self-proclaimed “conspiracy theorist” who happens to lack a sense of humor probably lock themselves in their closet in sheer terror…and then continue to smoke bad weed. Another part I liked was Wayne chanting throughout parts of the song proclaiming “I am not basic!” The irony about that line is that I can imagine a lot of “basic” people chanting that part as a mantra for their intellectual posturing.

What can I say? I’m a sucker for trippy lyrics and guitar hits over a hard and heavy live drum beat. Interesting enough, “I Am Not a Human Being” is made up of leftovers off of “Rebirth”, maybe if this was on “Rebirth” I would’ve bought it or legally download at least.

Viva la Vida by Coldplay feature by John M. Ellison IV

Coldplay…where do I start with these guys and what can be said that hasn’t been said before? After some light research, I found out that they’ve actually been around for a while. Members Chris Martin on vocals and piano, Jon Buckland on guitar, Will Champion on drums, and Guy Berryman on bass came together in 1996 while attending the University College of London. The Safety EP was issued shortly after their first gig at a Manchester festival for unsigned bands. The band’s breakthrough was in 2000 with their hit single “Yellow” off of the Parachutes LP. To be fair, I liked “Yellow” but maybe the constant exposure of “Yellow” and “Clocks” burnt me out and also the fact I was more into heavier guitar sounds. I got tired of their dull hybrid sound of U2 and Radiohead.

In fact, I put bands like this under the label of “heroin rock” or “Ambiencore.” Either way, it gave me the nods.

Actually, whenever I even heard the mention of Coldplay I would say “I hate Coldplay! If you misunderstood I’ll said it in Spanish! ‘No quiero Coldplay!’ “And whenever I would listen to the radio and hear the DJ say “and here’s Coldplay’s–” instant dial turn on my end. But, on one fateful day, I heard this boastful, orchestral intro that lead into this four to the floor drum beat into a song that just took me on a majestic ride. It turns out that song was called “Viva La Vida” by Coldplay. In fact I even found myself fist pumping at the thumping drum breakdown/ vocalizing outro at the end. This was before I even heard of Jersey Shore mind you.
Interesting enough, the band ended up getting into a lawsuit with a few other artists because of the similarities to their compositions. Songs such as “Song I Never Wrote” by Creaky Boards, “If I Could Fly” by Joe Satriani and “Foreigner Suite” by Yusef Islam (formerly known as Cat Stevens) oddly enough sound similar, but most of the cases have been settled out of court; in fact Creaky Boards later retracted his plagiarism statement after finding out that their song (Songs I Never Wrote) was recorded after Coldplay recorded Viva la Vida. They also realized that they’re both Legend of Zelda fans and were both inspired by the music within the game.

In conclusion, Coldplay is another group that I had to grow into and I’m glad that I have; besides I’m a sucker for Legend of Zelda.

Check it out here
Coldplay-Viva la Vida

I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance a feature by John M Ellison IV

My Chemical Romance…you know the scene/*emo looking guys who look like a precursor to the characters in Twilight? I remember these guys from when they really broke through back in ‘05. Where do I start on why they annoyed me so much? Well let’s see, Gerad Way’s whiny cross between Mark Hoppus of Blink-182 and Robert Smith of the Cure masturbating with a cheese grater pained warbling that he calls singing irked me. The overall sound from the band instrumentation-wise sounded like a vague, uninspired pastiche of goth-rock, arena rock, pop-punk production music and they look liked their wardrobe consisted of too many bargain’s from Hot Topic and RuPaul’s makeup bag.

But to be fair, songs like the Black Parade, I’m Not Okay (I Promise), Teenagers and their covers of classics by the Misfits have grown on me over the years. In fact, listening to it again, it’s not bad; I guess it was more of a jarring effect at first because I wasn’t in the right head space when first listening.
I mean, listening again “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” isn’t bad; the imagery is amusing to me at least. For example

“Well if you wanted honesty, that’s all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it’s better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?”

I mean, to me it’s like she got caught cheating and instead jumps out of her bedroom window instead of facing and accepting responsibility for her teenage philandering ways. Well, that’s just my interpretation at least.
Hopefully by now and if you’re not totally infuriated you can see past my light hearted ribbing of the band, you can see that I do enjoy them rather than actually saying that I’m a fan or let alone be a part of the fans known as “MCRmy.” In fact, I think “Teenagers” is a great sing-a-long to jam on.

I’ll give ‘em credit for writing some catchy, in some cases intricate and amusing tunes and just the song titles alone are worth a dry chuckle.

Check out I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhZTNgAs4Fc

*yes, the “emo” reference is my lame attempt at getting their goat, because I know how much they think emo is garbage.