Keri Hilson-”The Way You Love Me” feature by John M. Ellison IV

I’ve heard a buzz about this video for Keri Hilson’s video “The Way You Love Me.” I saw it and thought it was…overrated. To me, the video is fairly tame. But on the other hand, I’m used to stuff like Wendy O. Williams and the Plasmatics. Take notice that I said “Wendy O. Williams”, not the talk show host “Wendy Williams.” Also, the inane sentiment of “Keri Hilson is a bad role model for the young girls out there”, “Trashy” or whatever idiotic “shallow as urine on asphalt” variant of that statement that lingers through the internet.

What grabs my ire about Hilson is the poser vibe from her. She’s no worse than dudes that become rappers trying to do something positive but who actually were better drug dealers! She’s proven her lack of musical knowledge via a little sideways comment about a friend of mine’s hairstyle. If she knew music, she would’ve been aware that aside from his main r&b group, he has a rock band that he’s been working on. Besides, true musicians/songwriters listen to everything. Remember, that there’s nothing pure about musical inbreeding, folks.

Well, enough of my attempts at lambasting this “pardoned turkey,” let’s roast this video!

The video starts out with a meeting take place that’s reminiscent of the meeting scene from the film “the Dark Knight.” But wait…Is that Jojo’s in this video? Where’d she come from? The last time I heard anything about her was when Eminem named checked her in his song “Ass Like That.” Faith Evans is in here too? I don’t have any issues her…she responded to my sister via twitter and was very polite to her. So I don’t have anything to say bad about her. The lead male role in the scenes dialogue is corny. “Cut the crap?” That’s real “gosh darn” gangsta. Then the song starts with Keri Hilson donning a leather wardrobe that makes her look like a bootleg Ohio Players album cover model and her backup dancers go into this stiff choreography that makes Riverdance with Michael Flatly look funkier.

Another amusing part of the video is the choruses containing the lyric of ‘f*ck me, F*ck me’ with matching “rapid fire coochie thrusting!” Thanks for the offer but you’re kind of bony for my taste. Beside with all that vigor I thought she was going to pop her leg out of her socket. “I got the kind of p*ssy that will keep you off the streets.” Okay, trouble is her enunciation sounds like she’s saying “pissy.” When I first heard this, I thought “…Is she into water sports or something?” The club scenes kind of remind me of the video for Wyclef Jean’s single “It Doesn’t Matter” featuring The Rock from back in 2000. I think it’s the blue hue that does it.

To be fair, there are some good points about this big steaming pile of “trying to hard.” I like the synth line on this track; it reminds me of the raves I used to go to every year in my teens. In closing, unless you’re the type that revels in false outrage and underweight vaginal gyrating, just skip this awkward moment and watch some old school Wendy O. Williams’s videos or Rockbitch videos…if you have legal access to the latter that is.