29
*Insert Fangs Here*
Written by John M. Ellison IV
Readers, have you ever just come across a news story and just stare in disbelief at the stupidity that you’ve just read about?
American teens are sinking their teeth into each other’s necks, literally.
Inspired by the “Twilight” series and heartthrob vampire Edward Cullen’s chilly charms, teens are taking their love nips a little too far, MSNBC reports, biting each other — hard — and then licking the blood.
Bizarre teen behavior has horrified parents for generations, but health officials and other experts are warning this vampire-inspired Count Dracula fad could have serious consequences.
“These are kids who think they are real vampires,” Dr. Orly Avitzur, the medical advisor to Consumers Union, the agency that publishes Consumer Reports magazine, tells MSNBC.
And many teens are getting their blood-sucking fix on the Internet, Avitzur says, noting that sessions spent trolling vampire-related teen websites are on the rise. Groups such as “I drink blood,” a category at experienceproject.com, and “I want to be a vampire” at the site 43things.com, are filled with apparent posts from young people with a yearning for hemoglobin.
“Having that thick, warm copper-tasting blood in my mouth is the best thing I can think of!” writes a teenager identified as “GothicGirl10″ on MSNBC. “Sometimes my boyfriend lets me feed off him. I let him feed off me as well.”
Such talk alarms medical experts, who warn about the dangers of blood-borne diseases such as hepatitis and HIV, as well as the risk of nasty infections. Typically, 10-15 percent of human bite wounds become infected, MSNBC reports.
“If you break the skin, your mouth is pretty dirty,” Dr. Thomas Abshire, a pediatric blood and cancer specialist and spokesman for the American Academy of Pediatrics, tells MSNBC. “The human mouth flora is dirtier than a dog or cat’s.”
Also concerning is the fact that this biting is often done to brand another person, experts say.
“If you think about it, there is such glamorization in those teen vampire movies, they make it seem so sexy and appealing and intriguing,” Avitzur says. “It’s all mixed up with passion.”
After reading this, a few thoughts came to my mind…
1. Wow, at first parents were terrified of their daughter was sucking something else.
2. I can imagine a guy thinking “I was hoping she’d swallow another bodily fluid from me.”
3. I can imagine him also thinking “She said she’d suck the life out of me…this is not what I had in mind!”
4. If she thinks she’s a vampire, I just know that I’m getting my ass out by morning!
5. If a girl’s boyfriend is really into bloodletting and drinking blood then well…all he has to do is wait a few weeks every month.
“Ugh, that’s so vile of you! How can you make jokes about teenagers having sex?” Simple, it’s because they do have sex. Anyway, they’re a few themes in this story that are kind of old hat, first theme is scaring the parents of kids with “alternative” tastes and the parents are too narrow minded or stiff to understand the basis of it and who are ignorant of the subculture and judging it based off of their kid’s experiences
I remember when I was in school and other kids (mostly boys) would cut each other and try to become “blood brothers.” For those who don’t know what becoming “blood brothers” means, it’s basically what it sounds like. In this case, it’s when two kids try to become closer by attempting to get their blood into their friend’s system and “stay best friends” by sharing the same blood…Yeah, all you can do is the blank stare on that one.
To emphasize, I’m not taking up for this “Twilight” glam vampire stuff or even trying to defend it. I urge for people to instead of stereotyping an entire subculture/fad, we have to look at the individuals apart of it and understand that even though they can be a part of a culture, it doesn’t mean they are ambassadors for it. It’s eventual you will have some narcissistic “attention whore” who will use a subculture as a vehicle to act like a how I can eloquently put this…a douche bag without knowing or genuinely caring about the subculture they claim to represent.
Bottom line, I just hope that this is just an exaggerated hoax fueled by the loss of irony and sarcasm through message boards and just the internet in general.
Original story
1 Comment to “*Insert Fangs Here*”
Leave a comment
Categories
Recent Posts
- Cat Scratch Fever Symptoms Include Diarrhea of the Mouth Right? by John M Ellison IV
- Jenny Hates Techno-About a Girl (cover)
- Limp Bizkit and Lil Wayne Walk into a Studio…No, I’m Serious by John M. Ellison IV
- Sutter Kain, Naymez and Donnie Darko-Traitors feature by John M. Ellison IV
- Suck My Big Black Ass, Charlie Brown!











I totally remember ‘Blood Brothers’ I was too keen on cutting myself at school so instead a friend and I became ‘Spit Sisters’