Breaking News! Tiger Wood’s Alleged Affair Made Public!

by John M. Ellison IV

According to ESPN, Tiger Woods had a minor car accident on early Friday November 27th, when he lost control of his SUV outside his Florida mansion, and a local police chief said Woods’ wife used a golf club to smash out the back window to help get him out.

The world’s No. 1 golfer was treated and released from a hospital in good condition, his spokesman said. The Florida Highway Patrol said Woods’ vehicle hit a fire hydrant and a tree in his neighbor’s yard after he pulled out of his driveway
at 2:25 a.m. Windermere police chief Daniel Saylor told The Associated Press that officers found the 33-year-old PGA star lying in the street with his wife, Elin, hovering over him.

“She was frantic, upset,” Saylor said in a briefing Friday night. “It was her husband laying on the ground.”

She told officers she was in the house when she heard the accident and “came out and broke the back window with a golf club,” he said, adding that the front-door windows were not broken and that “the door was probably locked.”
“She supposedly got him out and laid him on the ground,” he said. “He was in and out of consciousness when my guys got there.”

Saylor said Woods had lacerations to his upper and lower lips, and blood in his mouth; officers treated Woods for about 10 minutes until an ambulance arrived. Woods was conscious enough to speak, he said.

“He was mumbling, but didn’t say anything coherent,” Saylor said.
The crash knocked Woods unconscious for about six minutes, according to a call report compiled by the Orange County Sheriff’s Office, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

Now details are coming about an “alleged” affair between two or three women! Online, there’s audio of an alleged voicemail message from Tiger to this woman.
Or in other words, Tiger Woods might’ve sunk a hole in one in her Fuzzy Zoeler. Another pressing issue is that these alleged extramarital affairs can and possibly will tarnish his squeaky clean image and can lose millions of dollars worth of endorsement deals. A few things about this story that crossed my mind…

Wow, Tiger Woods has groupies.

Why should Woods lose any of his endorsement deals? I’m not advocating philandering of any sort, but it’s not like he went out and killed someone or robbed a bank.

Tiger Wood’s isn’t the first to “allegedly” cheat on his wife. It’s just surprising that he did.

I wonder if Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” or Jazmine Sullivan’s “Bust Your Windows” was playing on the radio when this was happening.

I thought Tiger married a white woman so he wouldn’t be beaten with a 9-iron if he got caught doing that shit!

Wow, Tiger Woods isn’t helping that “driving while Asian” stereotype.
Well, class I guess we learned a few things…white girls can scrap like the sistas and don’t leave a message on your alleged mistress voicemail.